Somewhere to Begin

I wear my sunglasses at night.

Vi and I model our thrifty finds.

The girls and the new bike trailer.

Vi likes to wear my clothes.

Iz + bluberries = sizable mess.

Sometimes I feel like I am running in circles, like my mind is going so fast and I am running to catch up. And what happens is that I can't seem to formulate anything into a coherent thought. I wonder if anyone else feels like this. It feels like a sort of mania.

I have had a fantastic week, the girls and I have been travelling car free all week, biking around the city and loving every minute (well, except the massive hill on Tyee Road). I didn't enjoy all 3 minutes of that. It surprises me a little, although I suppose it shouldn't really, how much better I feel being this active. Before I had Vi and Iz, Andy and I were always out doing something and then I became so sedentary the past few years. It is hard to describe exactly how this has been for me, I would describe it as an ever present sense of malaise-feeling itchy and somehow incomplete. Now, powering up the hills, feeling my heart beating in my chest, the wind on my face...it feels like I have reclaimed a part of my former self. The feeling is amazing. The more I am active, the more I want to be. It is such a wonderful, natural high. The girls seem to love being in the bike trailer, yesterday they fell asleep on the way home, their two little heads resting against one another. It was so sweet.

I really want to show my girls that you can be strong of mind and body, if you are conscious of the choices you make. As a woman and a Mother, I hope to teach them that you can try anything you are interested in, even if it a male dominated sport, even if you are afraid. I think that fear can be such a motivator, instead of a deterrent if we can use the fear to our advantage. Fear is such a strong emotion and I think using it as a catalyst for doing something that scares us can reap the biggest benefit in the end.

I was so afraid to tow the girls in the bike trailer. I was worried about whether I would be able to actually do it, I thought about whether it would be a total nightmare in the rain. But today we went uphill in the rain and still, everyone was happy.

Tonight we are heading out to the Ukrainian Cultural Centre for perogy night. Seriously the best perogy's and cabbage rolls I have ever had, all homemade. Tomorrow we're heading over to a friend's place for a bar-b-que, we haven't been together in a year so it will be a great time, I'm sure. Tonight the hockey game starts at 6:30 so I'll be sure to pack back my 20 perogy's by that point.

Life feels full of beginnings right now, it feels busy but in a good way. According to Dan Wilson, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."