Too Busy to Think

I haven't written in so long that I wonder if everyone has given up on me and stopped checking. There has been so much going on that it seems that I haven't been able to find the time to write. In some bizarre way, not writing enables me to put my head down and scurry forward without much thought. And sometimes, that is what I need to do. Then when the whirring stops for a moment, I look up and realize that I can't remember everything that has happened in the past month because I was too busy to think. It's also a clever way that I detach myself. Writing is like coming home, and writing makes me feel the most connected to the very central parts of my personality.
So, lately, there have been some pretty major developments. Andy and I have decided to get married. HITCHED, LEGAL, HUSBAND and WIFE. This is a huge step for me. It has never been that I didn't want to marry Andy-I have always known that he would be my life partner. He is my best friend and seriously, I can't imagine being with someone who could make me think the way he can. And I love that. Andy always surprises me with his particular take on most situations and the way he can gently imply that I may not always have thought of all of the angles in any particular circumstance. He also makes me laugh so hard sometimes that I can't breathe, and that is what I love the most. So there has never been any doubt in my mind that he is the one for me. But I do have this major hang-up about marriage and what it can sometimes mean. I guess I have had this rather unjustified fear that it makes people forget that their partner is something special. And I always want Andy and I to remember that we are both unique and original and irreplaceable. I think that it is so easy sometimes to take people for granted and I never want that to happen. I guess somehow, in my mind, this concept became intertwined with marriage and came to represent a very scary possibility. What I needed was time. Time to grow, time to experience, and time to learn that marriage does not equal separateness, if you don't want it to. I needed all of this time to realize that it can mean anything we want it to and now it feels like the most freeing decision in the world. And now the thought of being a wife makes me feel peaceful and safe in my own skin. A little exposed, but willing to take the risk of fully putting myself out there.
Good lord, I hope I am never referred to as "THE wife" in any social context. SHUDDER.
In other news, here is a few pictures of what we have been up to lately.


We took the girls hiking at Mount Doug on Saturday, Violet ran the trails, THE WHOLE TIME.


This is an after photo of the landscaping. And Violet in her underwear, wearing my bra. Awesome.

Here is a mid-way photo of the backyard.

My sweet love, Violet, rockin' out to Raffi.